The Minimalist Way Read online

  Do you ever feel the weight of your physical belongings resting on your chest? Or maybe for you, it’s your shoulders or lower back. When I feel like I own too much, I feel it on my chest—right over my heart. I can’t breathe as deeply or move as freely. Thankfully, every belonging I get rid of lessens that weight, so the solution is always available (even if not always easy).

  Could you imagine—with as much detail as you can summon—that every item you donate or pass on takes a bit of the weight off you? Keep this image in mind as you read through this chapter and work through your home. Every item you part with takes you closer to the lighter, freer, purer version of yourself.

  Reflection

  Look back at the value tree you made in chapter 2, focusing on your top three values for your “home” life domain. Write them here, and use them as a guide as you implement the strategies in this chapter.

  1. –––––––––––—

  2. –––––––––––—

  3. –––––––––––—

  Take a moment to write in your journal or reflect on the following questions before moving on: How do you want to feel at home? What’s your vision for your home? What’s preventing you from feeling this way or achieving this vision?

  Creating a Minimalist Home

  As we dive in, keep one principle in mind: You don’t have an organization problem. You have a too-much-stuff problem. So often I see people writing off their hope for change by saying, “I’m just not an organized person.” But the problem is more fundamental than that.

  You don’t need to organize more; you need to own less. It’s exponentially easier to be an organized person when you don’t have too much stuff! And when you don’t have too much stuff, it’s much easier to find a designated spot for each item. The first and most requisite step is simply reducing what you own.

  Strategies for Reducing Clutter

  At this point, you’re probably well aware of the impact clutter has on you, and I’m guessing you’re motivated to change. The question, then, is where to start and what to do from there.

  1. START WITH ONE SMALL AREA—LIKE YOUR JUNK DRAWER

  If you let yourself wander your home and take note of every corner, every drawer, every closet that needs cleared, you’re more likely to get overwhelmed and give up than you are to get fired up and dive in. Start small. Whether it’s a single shelf in a closet, your junk drawer, or the cabinet under your bathroom sink, choose one small space that you can declutter right now—and that you can also maintain.

  Get rid of everything you don’t regularly use, tidy the things you do, and commit to keeping it that way. Going forward, notice the satisfaction you feel every time you open that drawer or cabinet. It’s empowering, right? It will likely motivate you to do another drawer. And another. And another. But first—especially if you’re new to clearing clutter—start with one small area, and focus on the freedom and satisfaction it gives you, before moving on.

  2. SET A TIMER FOR 10 MINUTES

  Clear clutter in one area for 10 minutes, knowing that when the timer rings, you’re done—guilt free. If you happen to want to continue, set that timer for another 10. But keep in mind that every time your timer sounds, you’re free to stop. Look at what you can achieve in just 10 minutes, and allow yourself to feel that wave of accomplishment and growing confidence. Pieces of the biggest puzzle are placed one at a time.

  3. TRY THE TRASH BAG METHOD (ALSO CALLED THE GOODWILL DIET!)

  Do a sweep of your house with a trash bag in hand, seeing how quickly you can fill the bag. You can choose where the bag is headed—trash, recycling, or a donation center. One reader said her record for filling an entire bag was 45 seconds!

  For insurance that this strategy helps you make real progress, plan to do it right before your trash gets picked up or right before you do a donations drop-off. That way you won’t be tempted to change your mind and keep the clutter you’ve cleared.

  4. APPLY THE SKILL OF “HABIT TRACKING”

  Research shows that we have greater success with the habits we track. For example, a Harvard Business School study of 2,943 households across West Bengal found that families who were told their soap consumption would be tracked were 23 percent more likely to use soap when washing their hands.

  Similarly, people who write down what they eat every day eventually see more weight loss over time than those who don’t. People who meditate daily using the Headspace app can watch their “streak” (the number of consecutive days they’ve meditated) grow, and it motivates them to keep it up. When I was working this book, I wrote each day’s word count on a calendar next to my desk, and I found so much satisfaction—and motivation—in seeing my progress.

  How can we apply this to our clutter-clearing efforts? Could you commit to finding three items per day to donate, for a total of 30 days, checking each day off on your calendar as you go? Could you set a goal to get rid of 365 items in a year and check off a box for each item you donate? The bigger that streak grows, the more you’ll want to keep it up.

  5. KEEP IT SUSTAINABLE

  I often hear from people who go on a clutter-clearing rampage but burn themselves out so thoroughly that in no time at all, they find themselves right back where they started. Marie Kondo, author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, recommends an all-in, no-holds-barred approach to decluttering and tidying up. If you’ve had a lightning-bolt conversion and are certain you won’t backslide, then by all means, go full force like she recommends. But if you have a life full of things that might get in the way (children, a job, health challenges, a less-than-eager spouse …), keep it sustainable. Declutter one corner at a time, one room at a time, and move at your own pace, keeping those areas clutter-free as you go.

  6. DESIGNATE A PERMANENT SPACE IN YOUR HOME FOR DONATION ITEMS

  Whether it’s a shelf in your linen closet or a basket next to your back door, create an official place for donation and give-away items, and make sure every member of your household knows where it is. It’s amazing how this easy tactic can make editing your belongings a regular part of your family’s routine. At our house, it surprises me every time I find a piece of my kids’ clothes (now outgrown) or a once-treasured toy sitting on our donation shelf—placed there without any encouragement from me. There’s power in this simple strategy.

  7. WORK YOUR WAY UP TO SENTIMENTAL OBJECTS

  Build up your confidence by starting with things that hold no emotional value—the junk drawer, your kitchen utensils, or a bin of electrical cords. As you gain experience evaluating your less-important belongings, you’ll learn how to discern what you really can and can’t part with when it comes to larger or more sentimental items.

  8. CREATE A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING—AND KEEP EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE

  When decluttering, the goal is to have a designated home for every item you keep, without exception. This will make it significantly easier to maintain your minimalist lifestyle because you’ll immediately know exactly where to put anything away. And if you bring a new piece into your home but can’t find a logical place to put it, it’s time to question whether you need it at all.

  This strategy also makes it obvious when you have too much of something. For example, when you buy a new sweater and notice that your stack of sweaters is starting to reach the top of the drawer, think of this as a nudge to either return it or send an old sweater to the donation bin.

  I find it inspiring to remember all the times as a child when I asked my mom for a Band-Aid or a hair tie or a bottle of glue, and she knew exactly where it was. Now I get to do the same for my family; I get to offer all of us a home of order, a place that provides us comfort, consistency, and stability, even when the world around us may not.

  9. PRACTICE THE ONE-IN, ONE-OUT RULE

  It’s a rule many people practice—and for good reason! Every time something comes into your home, something else must go out. It’s simple: If you buy a new pair of jeans, send an old pair out. If yo
u buy a new knife for the kitchen, send a dull knife (or another kitchen utensil) out. If you upgrade to a new lawn mower, challenge yourself to pass on your old mower before you even bring the new one home.

  It may help to make this rule feel like a game—a hunt through your home. Where can you find an underused item that might serve someone else better? Celebrate the small win every time you find just the right thing to give away. (Oh, and you’ll make good use of the donations and give-away bin you made a space for in number 6!)

  10. CURB YOUR CONSUMPTION

  It’s simple and difficult and undeniably essential: Reduce your purchases. If you happen to get off track at any point on your path to a simplified home, be sure to actively watch your consumption so that old habits don’t land you back at square one. Being vigilant about what comes into your home is how you make real strides, because in the end, it’s as much about what comes in as what goes out.

  Key Areas to Declutter

  While we could address every minuscule area of your home, from your sock drawer to your dog’s toy bin, we’re going to focus on the areas that tend to feel the most overwhelming but also have the highest return.

  Your Closet

  When it comes to decluttering clothes, I ask myself three simple questions about each piece: Do I love it? Does it fit? Do I wear it?

  DO YOU LOVE IT?

  This question is usually the easiest to answer, because it’s more or less a gut check. We tend to know immediately whether we love something … or just tolerate it. Life is too short to wear jeans you don’t love. That said, I realize it’s not always financially viable to replace everything you “don’t love” at once, so it’s okay to play the long game here, slowly adding new pieces when your budget allows and gradually giving away those you don’t love.

  DOES IT FIT?

  I used to buy clothes that fit well enough, but not quite perfectly, just because they were on sale. But if the fit isn’t spot on, I always wear it less, and when I do wear it, I don’t feel great in it. Fit is key. Even if you love something, if it doesn’t fit right, you probably won’t wear it.

  Unfortunately, fit can be complicated, as many of us fluctuate between sizes during different stages of life. If you need to save some clothing that doesn’t currently fit due to weight changes from health challenges, pregnancy, or any other reason, I have two tips:

  1.Go as minimal as possible with the clothing you store. Chances are you won’t still love it, or it won’t fit like you thought, when you finally pull it back out.

  2.Store the few items you want to save out of sight, to keep your day-to-day dressing as uncomplicated as possible. (Fewer options means easier decision-making.)

  DO YOU WEAR IT?

  The last and most important benchmark is whether you actually wear it. It’s possible to love something that fits great but realize that you never actually wear it out of the house. A good friend of mine recently spent an evening cleaning out her closet and texting me photos, asking what to do about this item or that. My replies were simple, consistent, and—to be honest—a little redundant: “Do you actually wear it?” Each time, she answered with some version of “no, but …”

  “No, but it’s so cute! I really should!”

  “No, but maybe after I lose some weight …”

  “No, but maybe someday I’ll actually have a dressy occasion for it.”

  I believe very few “no, but” items should make the cut. If you keep too many, the clothes you actually wear end up hidden behind all the things you might wear someday, making it that much harder to efficiently put together an outfit today. And when you embrace a minimalist mind-set, you realize that time spent standing in front of your closet is time you could spend writing in a gratitude journal or talking with your family at the breakfast table—something that’s more in line with your values.

  TIPS FOR CLOSET PURGING

  1.Pull everything out of your closet. This process forces you to bring every forgotten piece into the light; nothing can be swept under the rug. Additionally, seeing your empty closet—and really letting yourself feel the mental and emotional space that comes with it—is motivating. It makes you think twice about what you put back in. Last, I find that a huge pile of clothes, coats, and accessories always feels so much bigger when it’s in the middle of your room than it does when it’s all put away in your closet. Seeing this shakes most people out of the feeling of scarcity as they realize just how much they have—making it easier to let go.

  2.Hold and touch each piece, critically evaluating if you love it, if it fits, and if you actually wear it. Only return your most loved, most worn pieces to your closet.

  3.Clothes you don’t want to keep can be given to a friend or family member; sold on eBay, at a secondhand retailer like Pluto’s Closet, or at a yard sale; or given to a women’s shelter, a donation center, or another nonprofit organization.

  4.After your purge, abide by the one-in, one-out rule. If you do, your closet won’t need future purges of this scale.

  5.That said, things inevitably build up even with the best of intentions, and every so often you may find the need to declutter your closet again. Use the seasons as your cue that it’s time for another edit. When you swap your summer wear for fall sweaters and layers (or your winter wear for spring crops and sandals), remove anything that doesn’t pass our “love, fit, wear” guidelines.

  6.If you like to shop (or tend to shop to avoid your feelings …) and will be tempted to bring too much back in, an accountability partner can help you maintain your newly edited closet. Convince a friend to do a closet purge with you (everything’s more fun with a friend) and commit to checking in with each other at the end of each month to stay accountable. I know a pair of long-time best friends who do spontaneous searches of each other’s closets to keep one another on track.

  The Kitchen

  Maybe you own a Bundt cake pan, even though you haven’t baked a Bundt cake in three years. Maybe you own four spatulas but really only use your favorite one. Or maybe you have 27 Tupperware lids … for the 13 containers you scrounge up in your Tupperware drawer. (Some things in life can’t be explained.)

  DO YOU USE IT?

  In the kitchen, the best question to ask yourself is, “Do I really use it?” And by “really,” I mean regularly, even frequently.

  Many of us fall for clever functionality in kitchen gadgets, and before we know it, we have drawers full of garlic presses, lemon juicers, and apple slicers—when day-to-day all we actually use is a cutting board and a good knife.

  SPECIAL OCCASION ITEMS

  Because many of the special occasion items we find in our kitchens are connected to entertaining, it’s helpful to check back in with your values for your home when you’re evaluating these pieces. Let’s say you’re a family of four that hosts a dinner for extended family or a party for friends a few times a year. Because of this you keep dishes and glassware for 12, as well as an array of serving platters and fancy cheese knives.

  When you think of your values, is gathering your loved ones a priority? Or do you prioritize simplicity and ease of use above entertaining? Depending on which way you lean, you might hold on to more or less. If you keep less, you can always borrow or rent for those few special occasions each year. And even if you do prioritize entertaining (and that’s absolutely okay), I still challenge you to keep less than you think you need. Often it will be enough.

  THE PANTRY

  The same principles apply to the food you buy and ingredients you keep. I used to jump at making any recipe that sounded good, but each time, I’d collect a couple new pantry ingredients that I couldn’t use for any other dishes, and before long, those random ingredients filled an entire cabinet and a good part of my fridge.

  As my minimalist mind-set has developed over the years, I’ve become much more selective of the recipes I’m willing to make. I’m now in the habit of checking which ingredients I already have before choosing what to cook, and I’ve also gotten better at making su
bstitutions with ingredients I have on hand—two practices that help save time and money. Besides, isn’t the best food made with fresh ingredients and a few, basic staples? A bottle of quality olive oil and a box of sea salt will take you further in your cooking than a haphazard spice collection ever would.

  Fridge and Pantry Maintenance

  The best time to clean out your fridge is right before you grocery shop (which for many people, tends to be weekly). A quick fridge clean-out helps you see what products you need and allows you to make space for the food you’ll soon bring in. Scan through the fridge for leftovers you can consolidate, toss anything that’s expired, and quickly wipe down the surfaces.

  Depending on the size of your household, you may only need to evaluate pantry contents (including your spice cabinet) every other week or even once a month. When you’re planning a big grocery outing (for example, to a box store instead of your local market), scan through your pantry, making note of the staples you’re short on—like nut butters, grains, pastas, and canned goods. Toss anything you haven’t used in the last month. (Or, if the cans or boxes are sealed and not expired, donate to your local food bank). As you get into the practice of doing this, you’ll find yourself wasting less food, as you finally know what you and your family really eat—and what’s just not worth buying and storing.

  Seasonal Decorations

  Every year of my childhood, I eagerly anticipated the day my grandmother, mother, and aunts would pull out their boxes of holiday decorations and deck out their homes for Christmas. I’d help my mom sprinkle fake snow onto her porcelain village depicting Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, carefully arranging (and rearranging) miniature figures of Tiny Tim and Ebenezer Scrooge. At Halloween, we’d line the surfaces inside our home with spider webs, light-up pumpkins, and homemade witches, Draculas, and mummies.